The end of my ApriL ;p

All I have today,, this moment,, now…
I can spend this moment making it the best moment yet with fearLessness,, trust,, courage,, confidence,, faith and Love or I can waste it with doubt,, anxiety,, worry,, regret,, anger,, fear,, distress and hurt…
Knowing that whichever I choose determines the experiences I wiLL have,, I choose the first option ;p

Today,, I am gratefuL to be at peace,, with no worries at this moment…
Thx my beLoved Jesus…
Yey… yey….

Le gra’

Aku adaLah Maharani,, bukan daLam heLai sempurna,, jadi berbahasaLah dengan jiwamu,, jika itu memadai,, akan kuberikan ruang di bentengku dan kutemani kau berjaLan di Labirinku…

Aku adaLah Maharani,, bukan daLam heLai sempurna,, jadi aku tak bisa menjadi Bidadarimu,, menguLurkan sayap,, meLindungi dan meninabobokanmu,, dan setia menunggumu meLepas jenuh di persinggahan Lainna…

Aku adaLah Maharani,, bukan daLam heLai sempurna,, kutetapkan piLihan dan kunikmati setiap konsekuensina,, betapapun manisna betapapun pahitna,, karena aku adaLah Maharani…

Le gra’

25.04.08... 21 years

Another year has passed…
Yey…yey…
Thx Lord for everything that You have given to me…
What a Lucky Great Queen I am ;p

Started with a LiL surprise regarding “washing machine” from Nissa…
Thank you sooooo much sis…
I never think that you couLd do such thing ;p


Then comes aLL the phonecaLLs and messages from famiLy and friends…
And speciaL birddei themesong from Brad’s 207 residents,, hihihihi…

Thx for waking me up in the middLe of the nite and made me Laugh,, weLL done !!
Not to forget about a prayer in the phonecaLL,, thx bro…
Diaminnin smuana dah ^^

TMC’s friends…
Lot of humour with you guys…
And thx for the gifts…
SpeciaL thx for both of you who accompany me aLL the way to Orchard mrt…

And my FAmiLy.. bLessed…
Dinner in BotanicaL Garden.. A durian cake…
Taking pictures is a must ;p


The Last but not Least,, the ngocoLers…
Haiyooo,, aLL of you,, never faiLs to make me Laugh…
Thx for the present ;p
And our wishes,, hope aLL wiLL come true,, yey !!

WeLL,, unLike Last year..
This time is not fuLL of surprises,, but fuLL of unpLanned events…
Hihihihihi…
No matter how,, this is the art of 25th ApriL…

For everyone,, I couLdn’t say anything but THANKSSSSSSSS….
Hug and kiss for y’aLL ^^

Le gra’

The warm sunLight through my window
The smeLL of rain in ApriL,, bottLed up and corked with damp cLoud
Voices meLd together in the caLm of the night
My heart fiLLs with so many thoughts
What in the worLd shouLd I wish for?
So many things for which I have dreamed…
And one of the things I reaLLy want is you
But,, afraid to even dare hope that
Such a dream couLd possibLy be reaLised
Therefore………………

Le gra’

You wiLL never know

I don’t expect you to know that I want to taLk to you…
And I don’t expect you to understand that I reaLLy need you….
And I don't expect you to reaLize that distance is getting wider and wider...

Every Late night,, I see your msn onLine,, I hope that I have courage to cLick in your nick and have a chat with you…
But,, I’m doing nothing……….. even just to say “hi..”
I don’t know why I can feeL Like this and it’s very weird that I even drop my tears now…
I don’t feeL I’m LoneLy which in fact I’m not….
Knowing that recentLy I’m not in a good mood and need somebody to cheer me up…
Moreover,, just finished chatting with a friend,, and somehow without any intention,, she made me upset…
Hence,, it makes me want to chat with you more…

My goodness,, what is this??
ActuaLLy,, I’m disappointed because of you..
After aLL,, it’s not the matter of pride but principLe…

Le gra’

Teach me o Lord...

AjariLah kami ini saLing mangasihi…
AjariLah kami ini saLing mangampuni…
AjariLah kami ini kasihMu ya Tuhan..
KasihMu kudus tiada batasna…

Le gra’

..hints..

There are so many things that I want to say and ask…
So many things I want to teLL to you...
But,, I’d rather be siLent for this time being..
Knowing that it won’t affect anything…
And it seems Like what Ko Anton said to Ko Omar: “Some peopLe just cannot take hints”

Le gra’

TerLewati sudahhhh...

No mater how,, finaLLy this 1 hectic day have been gone…
At Least,, I’ve done aLL the events though a bit Late here and there…
Rushing to waLk,, to catch buses and mrt…
What a tired day….
But,, it was fun….

I thought I want to skip dawn prayer today,, but in the end I stiLL went…
Then sok2 nimbrung di session Equippingna Leaders… Hehehe…
Here comes the unpLanned event which was accompany si Kacang shopping for his event tonite…
ReaLised it’s aLready 1.15,, rushing to OHGS to attending training session…
DiseLa2 training,, udah sibuk diteLponin 2 org berbeda mengenai 2 acara yg berbeda tentunaaa…
Rushing to The Cathay buat nongoLin muka ke uLtahna Eda Eli,, hihihihi…
When I reached there,, they were about taking photo.. Uhuyyy,, such a right time ;p
As the bLinking of the eyes,, I took a bus to City HaLL and met a friend there…
Planned to eat in Din Tai Fung,, but ended up in Sakae Sushi,, hihihi…
What a good quaLity time and conversation that I’ve had with you ^^
And what I reaLised about you is…. You are such a very pLanned guy,, good personaLity,, ambithious,, has a very cLear dreams of his future… SaLuteeeee…

UnfortunateLy he had to go back to prepare his exams… Moreover,, I had meeting in Indonesian Embassy about EI08… Hence,, we had to separate,, huhuhu…
Took cab but stiLL Late,, hahahaha…
Mendengar ceramah as a good congregation,, hihihii…
SuddenLy,, I found myseLf at NationaL Library Bugis,, was waiting for friends to come…
A bit sLeepy when I was waiting hiaaaaaaa…
And finaLLy at 8pm,, together we went by mrt to Ps. Ris,, took 403 tiLL the Last stop…
My Last destination,, Mbong Vivi BBQ party…
Of course we arrived there very Late,, it was too far,, hahahaha…
Met a Lot of TMC friends there who had graduated…
Hmmmm,, feLt Like reunion ;p

After aLL,, I’m happy that everything has been accompLished..
Mission: cLear,, hihiihihihi…
Next thing to do: sLeepingggggggg…
Thx God for this wonderful day ^^

Le gra’

...I'm afraid...

Saya takut…
Takut waktu kamu di dekat saya…
Karena saya merasa nyaman…

Saya takut…
Takut waktu semua baik-baik saja…
Karena saya merasa aman…

Saya takut…
Waktu saya sadar, saya butuh kamu…
Karena akan ada saat dimana kamu tidak ada…

Saya takut…
Waktu saya sadar…
Kamu teLah jadi rutinitas saya…

Saya takut,, menjadi Lemah…
Saya takut akan menangis…

Saya takut…
KaLau pada akhirna,,
Kamu bukan akhir bagi saya
Atau bukan awaL bagi saya…

Le gra’

Can't wait for the upcoming weekend...

Heppie bday to my cousin,, Ester and my dear friend,, Manchuw !!!!
Yey…yey…yey…
Both of you are 21 by now…
Sorry for can’t be there,, of course Lah yaa… Yg satu di Indo,, yg satu di Aussie,, sedangkan Rani cuma mampu traveLLing around Sg doank ;p
One thing for sure,, I’ve sent birthday present for you,, which are my prayer and my kisses.. Muach..muach.. Hihihi…

Around 1am,, I woke up and caused me can’t sLeep anymore untiL 3.30am…
Then,, in that time,, when my roommate had sLeeping,, my friend caLLed me…
Afraid that I wouLd wake her up,, I tried to speak softLy inside my bed cover…
I just wanted to end the caLL,, when suddenLy he brought up one thing…
Hmm,, I don’t want you to be hurt anymore… You’re scar have not been heaLed yet,, hence,, I hope you can consider it again…

Chat and chat with some friends…
And I just reaLize that in this weekend I’ve made to many promises…
Been away from TMC’s friend for quite a Long time and now I want to come back again…
This Saturday,, Lady Mischa invited me to join her birdei Lunch at 1pm…
I feeL guiLty if I can’t make it anymore,, huhuhuhu…
Then,, there wiLL be training in OHGS at 1.30pm and I have to come…
Another one,, I have to accompany my friend after he finish attending a seminar…
ActuaLLy there’s no speciaL occasion for this one,, and by right I can canceL it…
But then,, he is a very super duper busy person…
Our rareLy meeting suppose to be heLd around March,, but due to our different activities,, both of us agree to have an earLy dinner after training,, hahaha… I’ve been asking to postpone it untiL Sunday,, but that busy body can’t make it!!!
And aLL of the events above become worse when suddenLy EI08 committees wiLL have meeting with Pak Dubes at 5pm in KBRI…
Mateng degh,, Lengkap Lah sudah…
GiLiran Rani binun meng-cope smuana.. Huhuhu…

It’s 12.15 now..
Have to prepare to go cLass…

Le gra’

Stay the same – Joey McIntyre

Don’t you ever wish you were someone eLse
You were meant to be the way you are exactLy
Don’t you ever say you don’t Like the way you are
When you Learn to Love yourseLf you better off by far
And I hope you aLways stay the same
Coz there’s nothing bout you I wouLd change

I think that you couLd be whatever you wanted to be
If you couLd reaLize aLL the dreams you have inside
Don’t be afraid if you got something to say
Just open up your heart and Let it show you the way

BeLieve in yourseLf reach down inside
The Love you find wiLL set you free
BeLieve in yourseLf you wiLL come aLive
Have faith in what you do
You’LL make it through

Le gra’

AbsoLute Truth

There is no such things as an absoLute truth,, dear…
What is defined as “the truth” right now,, is what has been agreed by the majority as “the truth”…
Therefore,, we,, as the Less-important component of the worLds,, are forced to beLieve it…
That is Like the conception of “mainstream”,, “normaL”…
It is the majority,, who defines what is normaL,, and whoever goes beyond it is nonetheLess: weirdos…

Le gra’

I want to be there for them.,, not onLy you…
But,, most of the time,, you are there…
Sometimes I mix up between you and them…
For the severaL times,, I hide it away…
For the severaL times,, I faLL and faiL…
And this is aLLowed to be happened to show His grace,, His mercy…
HopefuLLy I become better and better…
Not onLy for you,, but for them…

I’ve been thinking… maybe too much about it…
I wish I was not put so much effort…
When it comes to you,, everything is upside down…
You make me regret for the words I’ve said…
For everything that happened,, so sorry…
…..somehow I stiLL hoping and praying….

For every tear that faLLs from the eyes,, a tear aLso faLLs into the heart…

Le gra’

Piano that pLay the bird's song...

Another theory about Life…
FoLLowed the perception of Life is Like schooLing,, now Life is Like pianooo…
Oups,, this is caused by too much taLking about piano recentLy…
Yupppsss,,, I’m coming back to the charm of pianist…
HopefuLLy,, the end of the foLLowing week wiLL bring something new ^^

Aniweiii,, Life is Like a piano…
The white keys represent happiness and bLck show sadness…
As you go through Life’s journey,, remember that the bLack keys make music too…
Happiness and sorrow are just Like a package that wiLL be given for us…
Ga ada degh org yang hidup penuh dengan sukaaaaa trus kannnn,, pasti ada dunk dukana… But,, gimana cara kita menyikapi duka inih yang penting…
Our past is just a history,, there is no such reLationship with our future…
Kan banyak tuh yang biLang, “JanganLah sLaLu meLihat ke beLakang,, tatapLah dan jeLangLah masa depanmu dengan penuh harapan.”
Jangan pernah menyerah,, terus mencobadan mencoba!!!
Kesempatan akan datang bagi mereka yang mau mancobaaaaa….!!

And then,, come to think about the birds…
Day by day just come and go,, but Look at the birds…
Inih segh perumpamaan yang sering didenger di gereja Lah yah…
Burung pipit yang keciL,, dikasihi Tuhan.. TerLebih dirikuw,, dikasihi Tuhannn…
KaLo dari pengamatan kita2 kan yah,, si burung inih kerjaanna Cuma tidur,, nyanyi,, terbang2 gitu… Kayakna enak banget kann ???

Tapiiii,, si burung kan tetep cari makananna dengan terbang kesana kemariii,, dan hasiLna??? Tuhan menyediakan makanan buatna,, dengan catetan si burung harus mencarina…
Sama kan kayak kita,, Tuhan udah nyediain banyak kesempatan,, banyak rejeki,, tetapi kita juga harus berusaha.. Smua juga udah tau lah yah soaL inih…
Hebatna Lagi,, Tuhan tuh kasih fasilitas extra Lho ke kita… Dia punya fasiLitas phone a friend… Apa itu??? Ntu tuh ajang dimana kita bisa bertanya ke sapa aja,, supaya kita bisa aware dimana kesempatan yang disediakanNa ntu ada…
Ga hanya ntu aje,, Tuhan juga kasih fasiLitas curhat… Cara paLing simpLe adaLah pray… Dengan curhat ntu,, Dia bs ngerti masaLahmu dan memberkan jawaban ama kita… Enak kannnn ???

Le gra’

She is...

Everybody around her have known her image…
Everybody around her have known her behaviour…
Everybody around her have known her personaLity…
Yet I…

So pLease someone who says “I know her” teLL me…
Coz even me,, stiLL not sure about her…
I’ve seen her Laughing so many times…
I’ve seen her smiLing when any words come out…
I’ve seen her trying so hard to be a good person…

But.. don’t you know that…
there are tears in the corner of her eyes?
there are hurt in her heart?
Don’t you know why does she hide it from us?

How I want to heLp her… but I couLdn’t…
The person who can heLp her is someone who just broken her heart…
God,, is it true???
The one who can heLp her is You,, right??

Le gra’

Gengsimuw

Karena suatu jabatan tertentu,, kita ndak bisa meLakukan sesuatu haL,, karena mungkin akan menjatuhkan nama kita… MisaLna negh,, gara2 dy putra mahkota,, maka dy ndak bs bergauL dgn sapa aja.. Msh bnyk aLasan yg membuat manusia menjadi semakin terikat.. Mungkin haL ntu ndak kita sadari,, namun dengan berkaca dari org Laen,, kita jadi ngerti kLo kita mempraktekkanna sehari-hari…

GengsiLah yg jadiin kita semakin terbebani.. Kadang orang suka mikir: Karena saya adaLah…. Maka saya ndak boLeh…. Atoo saya harus….,, dy harus…..
Pikiran kayak gtu timbuL karena gengsi udah merajai hidup kita.. Hati nurani kita udah dibutain oLeh gengsi,, kita jadi mentingin diri & kLompok kita.. Kita ngerasa bahwa kitaLah yg merasa cocok dgn keadaan ntu… Akhirna,, kesombongan akan menemani gengsi… Hidup pun jd compLex…

KaLo si gengsi inih udah berakhir,, Liat degh sekeLiLingmu…
Justru orang-orang sederhanaLah yg tetap jadi temanmu…
Mreka bukan ngeLiat materi tp kuaLitas hatina...

…wondering if you read this….
WeLL,, I’m not sure whether gengsi kmu terLaLu gede ato kmu terLaLu takut untuk meLangkah ato kmu merasa terbebani…
Adooo,, kadang2 bikin gregetannnnn….

Le gra’

David ArchuLeta -- AngeL

I'm coming back to the charm of pianist...

Le gra'

Forgiving not forgetting

Just now,, through a conversation in msn,, a friend of mine asked me a question, “Can you forgive if you can’t forget?”
It reminds me of an episode in Sex and The City,, aLmost forgot though….
Just remembered when at the end of that episode,, Carrie asked the same question…
She even put in her pers msg: “SteLLa—Rani are discussing forgiven but not forgotten!!!!”
Huahahahaa….

WeLL,, can I ??
At this time,, my answer wiLL be “Yeah”…
Then she asked me again,, “Does forgiving mean that you act normaLLy with that person as weLL as you did before that person made you upset??”
Hmm…. “HopefuLLy… I tried…”,, I anwered sLowLy…

“What is forgiving then?”
It means,, you accept that once in your Lifetime,, someone has done something crueL to you,, but you just keep going with your own Life instead of thinking and regretting about it over and over again…
Sometimes,, you don’t have to forget,, so that you can Learn how to protect yourseLf…

I’m just a human… I know that forgiving is not as simpLe as saying “Ok,, I forgive you” or sending sms and putting ^^ or ;p or =D or something Like that….
But at Least,, I try,, though I know it may not sufficient…
We are created with memories so we can put aLL out experiences and expressions in it..
For some cases,, some memories are just too hard to be erased…

Of course,, to forgive or not,, is just a choice…
I couLd keep my anger forever.. But then,, is it good??
Our Father never angry with us,, the sinners…
Then,, why shouLd I keep my anger???
I rather choose to forgive to keep my heart pure…

Le gra’

Here In My Life

Le gra'

Tetap Smangattttt ^^

MenjaLani hidup inih,, we often experience with heartbreak,, painfuLness,, hurt and so on… Kadang ada perasaan yg ndak enak menyeLimuti diri at the time peristiwa2 tertentu terjadi… Though we have faith in God,, tetep ajah kejadian yg kurang mengenakkan ato masaLah akan datang… And not surprisingLy,, kita bahkan sering tanya Tuhan kenapa kejadian2 ntu terjadi and kesanna kita memojokkan Tuhan…

If we Look back to the past,, banyak makna yg terkandung & tersembunyi dari tiap kejadian or masaLah ntu.. Coba aja bandingin diri kita yg dL ama yg skrg… Everything that happens in our Life make us stronger to survive in this worLd…

Smua yg terjadi udah dirancang Tuhan buat kebaikan diri kita ndiri… Karena peduLina Tuhan ama kita,, Dia kasih smua pengaLaman2 idup yg bs bikin kita kuat… From the Last FA materiaL,, we Learnt to think positive…

Ada 1 tmen Rani yg bLg hidup ntu kyk skoLah,, hari demi hari kita diajarin haL baru yg ndak kita ngerti… Trus skoLah ntu kan bnyk PR ato tgs yg hrs kita buat tiap hari… Ketika ada suatu masaLah besar,, maka ntu saatna untuk ujian kenaikan kLas.. Smakin tinggi kLs kita,, smakin tinggi jg tingkat kesadaran kt pd Lingkungan skitar…

WeLL,, pokokna jangan pesimis dan menyaLahkan sapapun or apapun…
Smua ada waktuna…
SebeLum tiba waktuna,, kita akan disiapkan Lbh duLu…
Hihihihihi…

Le gra’

PoLar bear & Anggrek Ungu

Wadooo,, Rani surprised bgt when I found out ternyata guru Sanur jg puya bLog…
Di tgh2 kesibukan guru Sanur yg spt ntu,, mreka bs sempet2in nuLis bLog.. pLok..pLok..pLok…
Bahkan dr Link2 yg ada,, Rani Liat ada 1 kLs yg punya bLog sendiri,, giLeeeee…
RecentLy,, ada 4 org yg Rani kenaL br Launch bLog…
Lucuna,, 2 of them tuh adLh org2 yg Rani tau ga suka bgtttttt soaL bLog…
SteLah mengoLok2 Rani yg punya bLog,, akhirna skrg mreka buat jg… Hahaha…
WeLL,, tiap org kan punya aLesan yg beda2 ttg kenapa mreka ngebLog…
Ada yg jadiin bLogna ntu diary,, ada yg buat bLog ntu jd Ladang kata2 yg ga bs diungkapkan scr Lgsg,, ada yg buat nyaLurin hobby nuLisna,, ada yg pake sbg sarana komunikasi ketika LDR,, pokokna macem2 degh…
Makana,, kmu jgn ngeLedekin muLuk dunkkk.. Kena getahna jg kan akhirnaaa,, hihihihi ;p
Ya sud,, pokokna weLcome on board di dunia perbLoggingan…

3 hr udah ga bs bobo jam 12an Lg…
pLg cepet jam 2.30 br naek ranjang,, gmn dunkkk…
Parahna jam 7.30an udah bgn Lg…
Hidup sehatkuwww,, apa kbr inih ???
Mending kLo ada yg namana bobo siang,, inih mah ndak sempet Lg bobo siang…
Yupps,, spt skrg… Jam sginih biasana mata udah 7 watt,, tp kLo skrg mata msh 50 watt kLiii...

Few days back,, sempet nemenin si mamah Fenny ke BridaL…
Adooowww,, muter2 dr satu toko ke toko yg Laen,, and Liatin sgitu bnykna wedding gown dsono…
Rani jd pengen punya wedding gown...
Hihiihihihihi,, ntar kLo nikah,, Rani mo wedding gownna disimpen ah,, hihihihi…
Udah gtu,, maLem inih terLibat perbincangan seputar angan2 beLaka ttg cara penembakan yg buat si cewek merasa terkesan…. Hihihihihi…
It wouLd be nice if it happens in the beach,, I think..
WhiLst,, my friend think about singing in a private restaurant… Hihihihi…
Haizzzzzz… Kyk udah mo nikah ajee Ran,, hahahahha…


Le gra’

If you can feeL it,, then good…
At Least you notice…
But then,, if you ask about it…
Waitttt,, actuaLLy you don’t have to ask me…
Coz the answer Lies in youuu…
The answer as simpLy as it is,, it’s you…
As Long as you haven’t shown any changes,, I can’t do anything…
It’s just another decision…
If you can feeL it,, you shouLd have known the reason…
Just go back and think…
I don’t need the correct answer,, I just need a bit changes…
Thx…

Le gra’

The hand we extend to our brother and sister souLs is the hand we extend to God…
The heart that we give to care for the suffering,, is the heart that belongs to God…

Le gra’

HumiLity..

To be humbLe is to accept that whiLe there wiLL aLways be individuaLs more and Less advanced than ourseLf… This means that whiLe you may have a greater understanding in some areas,, others wiLL aLways be abLe to teach you something..
When you cuLtivate a genuine yearning to know what skiLLs and taLents those you encounter have been bLessed with,, you can’t heLp but Learn humiLity…
HumiLity,, simpLy put,, is a form of baLance in which you can ceLebrate your own worth whiLe sincereLy beLieving that every other person on the pLanet is just as worthy as you…

Le gra’

Let's see the future

ALL the feeLings I have yet to feeL
ALL the peopLe I have yet to meet
ALL the prayers I have yet to say
ALL the doors I have yet to open



Le gra’

a photo...

PeopLe say that a picture can teLL thousands words...
So here it is...

Le gra'

Here’s My Heart – Out of Eden ft Katinas

Dear Lord,, are you there?
Listening to my LittLe prayer
I don’t know exactLy what to say
I’ve been toLd that you Love me
Hear me when I caLL wouLd heLp me if I faiL
I shouLd Let you have your way
What I guess I’m trying to say is I need you in my Life
Cause I know I’m tired of Living in the past
I wouLd Like to take chance on a change down deep inside
I beLieve that this is one that’s going to Last
So here is…

Chorus: Here’s my heart…
It’s been broken,, it’s been wounded
But I’LL give it aLL to you if you wouLd Love me
Here’s my Life…
If you want it,, you can have it
I wiLL give it aLL to you because you Love me
Your Love is everything I need

Dear chiLd,, I’m right here
Through your worries,, through you fears
I’ve been waiting for you to caLL my name
Oh you know that I hear you
If you turn to me and trust my words is true
You wiLL never be the same
WeLL I’m standing here to say that you need me in your Life
Cause I know that you can’t make it on your own
If you wouLd take a chance,, Let me change you deep inside
I promise you wiLL never be aLone
So here is…

You can turn to me and know that I am aLways stand by
I gave it aLL for you so you couLd have this gentLe peace inside
I wiLL foLLow you cause I beLieve in everything you are
I am your father,, you are my Saviour
And in the matters of the heart
I am taking yours,, and you are taking mine

Le gra’