So many times I was aLone and couLdn’t sLeep You Left me drowning in the tears of memory And ever since you’ce gone, I found it how to breathe Cause there was so much that your heart just couLdn’t see A thousand wasted dreams roLLing off my eyes But time’s been heaLing me and I say goodbye
Cause I can breathe again, dream again I’LL be on the road again Like it used to be the other day Now I feeL free again, so innocent Cause someone makes me whoLe again for sure I’LL find another you
CouLd you imagine someone eLse is by my side I’ve been afraid he couLdn’t keep myseLf from faLLing My heart was aLways searching for a pLace to hide CouLd not await the dawn to bring another day Your not the onLy one so hear me when I say The thoughts of you that just fade away
Reff
Sometimes I see you when I cLose my eyes You’re stiLL apart of my Life
I stiLL can smeLL the scent of your perfume… I stiLL can feeL the warmth of your hand… I stiLL can see the deepest meaning at your eyes…
Can’t beLieve that I’m Longing for the day to meet you… But I have to deny this odd feeLing.. No… it is not suppose to be denied… It is just the matter of fact that need to be directed… Back to the right track.. Which is shouLd not be Like this…
How can you be such an adorabLe person ??? How can you be such a LoveabLe person ??? Yeah,, I’m taLking about you… onLy you… You make me comfortabLe whenever we are together… mi estimado amigo, mi pequeño pájaro
Mami,, papi… 3 hari Lg Rani mo exam Lhoooo… Adowww,, seperti biasaaa…Deg deg-an negh rasanaaaaa…. Stres dikit2 muncuL Lg… Rani jd kangen ama mami papi yg suka nemenin wkt Rani bLjr di rmh dL.. Kangen jg ama masakan ayam & ikan mas aLa mami tiap Rani mo uLangan umum dL… WaLopun dsini msh ad yg smangatin Rani Lwt sms2 sbeLom exam,, Tp dsini,, ga ad yg masakin Rani… Dsini,, sbeLom exam cuma bermodaLkan minum susu doank,, ntu pun susu instant…
Sbenerna yah mi.. pi... Dr kmaren maLem Rani sakit Lhooooo :( Tp,, Rani ndak mo biLang mami papi,, takut ntar makin kepikiran Lg… Makana td maLem Rani ga teLp ke Jkt… Hehehehe… PuLang greja Rani Lgsg ketiduran,, kedinginan pdhL ga nyaLain AC Lhooo.. Tgh maLem bgn dunia serasa berputar smuaaaa… Ampe td siang,, ranjang inih kyk digoyang2in… WaLopun inih cuma menggigiL & pusing2 doank,, tp udah cukup buat Rani sengsara… Mo ngapa2in jd ga bs… NuLis bLog inipun dgn kekuatan seadanaaa… Rani jd kangen ama mami yg seLaLu nemenin Rani di kmr kL Rani sakit… Papi yg seLaLu pegang kepaLa Rani kLo panas Rani ga turun2… Mami yg ingetin & ngocehin Rani buat minum obat tepat waktu… Papi yg seLaLu marahin Rani kLo Rani maLes makan, apaLagi mkn sayur… WaLopun dsini msh ad yg care sama Rani,, Tp dsini,, ga ad yg ngocehin & cerewetin Rani… Dsini,, ga ad yg nungguin Rani pas tgh mLm kLo Rani suka kebangun..
BeLakangan inih jd kangen sama omeLan2 mami papi… Hahahahaha… Emang anak yg aneh… Rani seneng dL mami papi sering nasehatin Rani… NgomeL soaL niLai sekoLah Lah… Rani inget dL wkt SD,, mami pst marah kLo pas ditebak2in ternyata Rani bLom hapaL.. Meja di ruang tamu pst msh bs bersaksi sesering apakah kepaLa Rani nempeL di atas permukaanna.. BLom Lg ditambah buku yg terLempar kesana kemariii.. NgomeL soaL keLakuan Rani Lah… Yah,, waLopun anakmu inih rada tomboy bgttt tp mami papi sLaLu ngajarin jd cewek yg bae & bner… Hrs sopan sama org,, sapapun mreka.. Ga boLe sombong & hrs tetep Low profiLe (kata2 favemu pi)… KaLo keras kepaLana Rani udah muLe kumat,, papi pLg seneng degh ngocehin Rani soaL bginian… Waktu pun udah ga trasa kLo papi udah ngomeL.. Apapun yg terjadi,, ga ad yg bs nyetop papi ampe smua apa yg mo diomongin kLuar…
On the top of that,, Rani sadar bgt kok smua ntu buat kebaikan Rani jg… Ntu smua bukti sayang mami papi ke Rani… Arghhhh,, jd sedihhhh… Satu yang ga mgkn Rani Lupa adaLah smua doa2 mami papi…. Ketika hanya doa yg terucap… Dan tetes airmata pun tak terhitung Lagi… Di kaLa iman menjadi pengharapan tunggaL… ......................... ................... ............ ...... ..
Br 4 bLn yah pdhL since kt terakhir ktemu yah… And another 4 bLn pLg cepet Rani puLang… Rani kangennnnnnnnnn…. Ksini dunk mami,, papi…
Le gra’
Friday, October 19, 2007
I just wanna runnnnnnnnnn…. When the waLLs are hiding me,, my sight is bLocked !!!! I know it’s not right and I must brave to step out….
You know what I’m asking for… Can You do that ?? May I pray for it ???
17.10.05 A LittLe girL who know nothing stepped her feet in this LiL country… OnLy brought her faith toward her Dad… She doesn’t have any reLatives,, she onLy has a father,, JC…
17.10.07 The story hasn’t finished yet… The secrets haven’t been reveaLed yet… And His purposes haven’t been fuLfiLLed yet…
Day by day… This girL Learns a bit,, a bit,, a bit… Month by month… This girL is taught… SLowLy,, He changes her Life… Happiness,, joyfuLness,, deLight,, sadness,, sorrow,, misery… Thousand feeLings she’s been through… puLsate… Loving & to be Loved.. caring & to be cared… hurting & been hurt.. anger… having & Losing friend..
Though she feeLs bored,, she wants to feeL enthusiastic.. Though she feeLs fidgety and anxious,, she wants to feeL caLmer.. Though she feeLs afraid,, she wants to feeL secure.. Though she feeLs sad,, she wants to feeL happier.. Though she feeLs angry,, she wants to feeL more peacefuL.. Though she feeLs nervous,, she wants to feeL more confident or sure to herseLf..
One thing for sure is she’s on the right track now,, knowing that her Dad guides her … Surrounding by her LoveLy friends and famiLy… His grace never sufficients… His protection never ends… His pLan never faiLs…
Yay.. yay… It’s aLready 2 years back since I arrived here… Hehehehehe…. Just Like a baby who Learns to crawL… Hihihihihihi… Need your heLp to make possibLe for me to waLk… Le gra’
Kusadar semua ini Tak seperti yang kujaLani Semua hasratku adaLah semu
Reff: Dan seiring akan hancurnya hati Ku ingin kembaLi padaMu Yang teLah memberikan nyawaMu Dan tak ingin kuLepas semua ini Anugrah yang tLah Kau berikan KesLamatan yang dariMu
Ya Bapa LihatLah aku Yang tak berdaya tanpaMu SLuruh hidupku adaLah semu
Reff
Bukan karena smua budi dan baikku Tapi hanya oLeh kasih karuniaMu
WeLL… I dunno what’s inside your mind and I wiLL not never know it.. I can’t understand your way of thinking but I wish I couLd understand a bit… It’s too complicated… but it attracts me more to know you better… Just stay Like this is enough for me… UnLuckiLy,, things wiLL never be the same… And as the time goes by,, I shouLd prepare for it… Get ready for the scars that can be appeared… and how to endure it… Of course I reLuctant to taLk about it and Let time answer aLL… My curiousity,, jeaLousy,, affection,, anger,, hatred,, enthuse,,quaLm,, uneasiness… As for now,, Lemme enjoy aLL the things than worry about it… WeLcome back Maharani ;p
Long time not post some funny2 picts here…. Hihihihihi…. Went out with sesama makhLuk pengangguran,, hihihihi… Love to spend time with u guys…
MaLem ketika Luka itu timbuL & membekasssss… Huhuhuhuhu….
Ibuk executive muda kita & her assistantna (tukang pijitna,, hihihihihi….)
Big Girl Don’t Cry -- Fergie The smell of your skin lingers on me now You’re probably on your flight back to your home town I need some shlter of my own protection baby To be with myself and center clarity Peace, serenity
Chorus: I hope you know, I hope you know That this has nothing to do with you It’s personal, myself and I We’ve got some straightenin’ out to do And I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket It’s time to be a big girl now And big girls don’t cry Don’t cry Don’t cry
The path that I’m walking I must go alone I must take the baby steps ‘til I’m full grown, full grown Fairytales don’t always have a happy ending, do they? And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay
Back to chorus
Like the little school mate in the school yard We’ll play jacks and uno ards I’ll be your best friend and you’ll be my Valentine Yes you can hold my hand if you want to ‘cause I want to hold yours too We’ll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds But it’s time for me to go home It’s getting late, dark outside I need to be with myself and center, clarity Peace, serenity
Back to chorus
Listen to this song and the second verse is so….. (fiLL in the bLank) Hihihihihi…. Take a baby step… and big girL don’t cry… Hihihihihi….
Watched Resident EviL: Extinction after dinner… That is not so my type of movie,, but for the sake “ketidak-antisosiaLan” I joined the group… Like the previous thriLLer or horror movies I’ve watched,, most of the schocking scenes,, I cLosed my eyes…. Huhuhuhuhuhuhu….. And one time,, I Look at the others,, just want to know whether they cLose their eyes or not… But,, I found out onLy me who cLose my eyes everytime they pLays the gory scenes… Even Mama Fenny pun sanggup meLihatna !!!!! UnbeLieveabLe !!!!! Nampakna hrs sering ntn movie yg gory2 dah,, buat therapy,, hihihihihi… ;p
Soooo tired this nite… SteLah mrasa cukup active di siang hari ampe sore menjeLang,, akhirna mrasa capek jg maLemna... The word "active" means active menggoda org,, mencoLak coLek org,, menyetrum org... Hihihihi... Senangna,, bnyk maenan baru (kaLian2 the geLi-ers ;p) yg menampakkan expresi yg aneh2 ketika setruman itu menuju bgn tubuh kaLian2... Hihihihihi... Yah,, inih seh bukan perwujudan dr ke-HBM (Haus BeLaian Manusia)-an Rancu,, tp ga tahan ajee kLo ngeLiat brg bagoes ndak dimaenin... GateL pengen dipegang2,, biar bergoyang... Hahahahaha...
After that,, time to go home.... WaLked from Cathay Cine to Horizon Tower then to Tiara then finaLLy reached TangLin View !!!!! Huebattttt tenan ndak tuh ??? Yg ada,, abies mandi,, br trasa gemporna nih kaki… hehehehe… Tp,, tetep smangat yeahhhhhhhh ;p
Oh yaaaaaaaaaa…. For my LopheLy friendz… My Marmut Yaya,, Mbah Ruth,, Itie,, Laura… Hueppie birddeiiiii yah… A big kiss and hug sent to you !!!!!! Hiehiehiehiehie…. God bLess you aLL ^^
I can see it cLearLy... and somehow,, it distracts me…. But I choose to shut my mouth up… I just chuckLe at myseLf…. Knowing that the stupidity can easiLy drag myseLf faLLing deepLy into its hoLe… . . .
Once again,, I chuckLe at myseLf… Just reaLize how easy for me to give in something… What I mean here is,, I never reaLize that I can reach certain LeveL where I give up that easiLy… Whooooaaaaa… I thought I’m quite stubborn for what I beLieve in… In fact,, I’m too scared…. Afraid to hoLd something… Afraid to fight…. Afraid to speak up…. Or… afraid to Lose something.. Afraid to Lose my time… Therefore,, severaL times I choose to back off… HopefuLLy I have a brave heart,, more brave… Otherwise I’d be Like a fooL… But,, as for now… I try not to think about it first… There a Lot of things which be better to think of… Hiehehehehe…. ;p
One of the example is: Hmmmm…. Finishing “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” !!!!! It’s been a week since I received that book and I haven’t finished it tiLL now… Too much other things to be done,, hehehehe….
Remind myseLf to exercise… I haven’t done any proper exercise for aLmost two weeks or more… Huhuhuhu… Can waLk over the bridge be considered as exercise ??? Hahahahaha….
Wooooooo…… It’s aLmost 3am now…. ShouLd go to bed now and wake up earLy… It’s aLready Sunday now… Hihihihihihi…
I got injureddddddddd………… Huhuhuhu…. This afternoon,, Dustin,, Jenita,, Ivan,, eLisa,, Andreas and me went to East Coast… Considered it as an outing pre FA for aLL of us,, hahahahhaha… Decided to pLay roLLerbLade,, we rented it and started to Learn and pLayed it… Enjoyed it… Whoaaa,, it’s just a year and I aLmost forget how to use it… Ckckckckck… Monyetttttttttttt,, makana,, kmu ksini Lg… Ajarkan Rancu Lg nyettttt…. Udah Lupaaa negh… Payahhhhhh…
Fyi,, it was the first time for me using the guard.. But why when I use it,, I feLL more than when I didn’t use it ??? Huhuhuhuhuhu.. SebeLLLLLLLLL…. And at the end of the day,, I got injured in my eLbow…
I think it’s not a big deaL for me,, since the wound is reLativeLy smaLL…. But the thing is,, the bLood haven’t stop yet tiLL now… A bit strange…. I’ve covered it aLready… Maybe I bend my eLbow too much,, so that untiL now it stiLL bLeeding… Busettttt,, inih darah ampe nembus ke Luar pLesterna mannnnnnnnnnn…. Kok jd ngeri yah ?? hahahahahah… Udah Rancu darah rendah,,ngeLuarin bnyk darah Lg,, huhuhuhuhu….
Oh yaaaa… I’ve rearranged my room,, finaLLy !!!!!! Yeah…yeah…yeah…. One of things that I Like to do… I’ve change my bed and my dress tabLe’s position A bit bigger when I see it… Puassssssssssss rasanaaaaaa… Though I may just Live here tiLL the end of this year… So saddd… Huhuhuhu… Need to find another room…. Who have it ??? pLease inform me… Hahahahaha….
Okay,, I need to sLeep now !!!! Cya in another entry… Hihihihihi….
Dear Lord, I reaLLy want to thank you for providing for aLL of our needs… I appreciate so much we have food, sheLter and cLothing.. Thank you so much for my parents… I Love them sooo much,, and I’m gratefuL to be their daughter..
I confess to You my frustration,, my feeLings of anxiety about the future.. I Lift these feeLings up to You… O God, that You may Lift the burden that is in my heart.. O God ALmighty, I know You have pLans for me…
Today, I started dreaming about tomorrow… I imagined,, just for a LiL bit, what that wiLL feeL Like.. It was Like breathing fresh air… I imagined a big smiLe on my face,, imagined dancing and cheering.. aLso Laughter… I imagined feeLing happier than nowadays… I beLieve that this can happen to us,, I beLieve it is possibLe..
Lord,, I ask you to move in a way that I’ve not seen before… HeLp me to be diLigent,, determined and faithfuL… I want to do aLL that I can and for You to move the mountains… Hear my prayer Oh God…
