I need My smiLe…

Today I still have my short break,, my last day before go back to college tomorrow… u know what,, today I woke @ 00.30 am !!!!! OMG,, this is the first time seumur idup bangun jam sgitu.. Salahkan siapa?? Hahaha… Yupz,, mungkin kecapean gara2 kmaren kLi yoo,, abiz br tdr jam 5 pagi,, hohohoho….

A crucial schedule for today: make sure everything is clear !!! hahahaha… Pokokna hari ini hrs seLese smua masaLahna,, ga pake mundur2 Lg,, ga pake aLesan2 Lg… Yg jeLas,, hr ini smuaNa jeLas,, ga ad yg ngambang2 Lg… One of my friend know that aku paling ga suKa yg ga jelas,, smuaNa hrs jeLas !!! But talking is not an easy job,, especially for me in this case.. It’s hard to tell you the truth..

Well,, maybe I can’t do it myself.. I need somebody else to help me.. I need encouragement to do it.. Okay,, u asked me what I want ?? Did I make it clear ?? I want to try it,, let’s do together.. But,, I dun want to tell it coz u mention about her.. Actually I want to say that we can try it first then we’ll see later.. Maybe she can change her mind coz nothing impossible.. Yeah,, she doesn’t even know me yet… But,, I keep it silent.. I dun want force myself to say it.. My friend told me “Rani tuh anaKna seLaLu mentingin kepentingan org Laen dibanding kepentinganNa sendiri..” Well,, it’s true.. Aku ga mau org laen ngaLah demi Rani,, it’s better buat aku yg ngaLah.. Rani udah terLatih buat ngaLah kok.. Rani ga mau org Laen sedih,, kaLopun hrs ad org yg sedih biar Rani aj.. God give me a strong heart supaya Rani bisa tahan smuaNa sendiri.. The other friend toLd me: “Why u never aLLow anybody to help u when u’re down?? U aLways help others facing their difficulties,, but u dun want others to help u..” It’s simply coz Rani ga mo buat org kepikiran masaLah Rani..

Why the differences always be my major problem ??? People say kLo perbedaan tuh buat saLing meLengkapi,, but it can’t be applied to my case.. Though I want it,, but I can’t.. I’m learning not to be a selfish person.. Rani belajar untuk consider other people want.. It’s easy to say,, but it’s hard to do it.. Sometimes I wonder sampai kapan Rani hrs seLaLu ngaLah ?? Is there time for me to win ?? Why I always stuck with those kind of differences among us ?? Last time I also give up with the differences.. There are so many people out there face the same problem with me,, but they can do it.. Why can’t I ?? I know it aLso hard for you… U know,, at that time when I said that u must Listen to her,, part of me said that u can taLk to her about this & I believe she’ll change.. But once again,, I dun want become selfish.. I want u to be a good boy… She’s ur everythin & I’m nobody… Hahahahha…

It’s not my fault,, it’s not ur fault,, it’s not her fault & it’s not His fault… We’ll just stuck in the wrong situation & wrong time… Sorry kLo difference yg ada ga bs untuk diLengkapi… I think u’ve come out with the decision… Thx to Him for this decision… Hopefully this is the best for u… hohohoho… Thx God u’re busy with all those activities that makes u easily forget all we’ve been through…

Thx for ur help… Thx for ur accompaniment… Thx for the shoulder… Thx for ur warm hands… Thx for day & nite we spend together... Thx for understand me… Thx for ur care… Thx for ur kindness to me… Thx to say those words (finally,, hohohoho…) Thx for everythin… ^^
Sorry kLo Rani terLaLu gampang nyerah.. Sorry kLo Rani make it aLL become so easy for you.. Sorry jg kLo Rani yg buKa jLn terLaLu Lebar… Sorry I never show how much I care… Sorry kLo Rani terLaLu teLmi… Sorry if I can’t help u much… Sorry I can’t give u the real smile… Sorry I can’t stop to…. & sorry I can’t say aLL this things directly… ;)

--RanCu--